Pokemon Truth or Dare! PM me with your suggestions!
by DafuqAmIReading
Summary: Eight Pokemon are stuck in a game of truth or dare, and they need suggestions for truth or dare challenges! Rated M for strong language and adult humor. PM me with your suggestions.
1. Introduction

_**Pokémon Truth or Dare!**_

Players:

Blaziken (Male, 16)

Infernape (Male, 17)

Gardevoir (Female, 15)

Lopunny (Female, 17)

Gothitelle (Female, 16)

Garchomp (Male, 17)

Meloetta (Female, 16)

Lugia (Male, 17)

Me: Welcome to Pokemon Truth or Dare! We want you readers to give any one of these Pokémon a truth or dare challenge. These challenges can involve basically anything. This includes death defying (or accepting) stunts, embarrassment or, to appeal to any of the pokephiles out there, nudity. Any dare of truth you suggest will be featured in the show, and I will force these bastards to do it. So send in your suggestions by PM to me!

Anyway, until we receive a suggestion, peace out!


	2. Poor Garchomp

Pokemon Truth or Dare 2

Me: Welcome back, I am "Dafuqamireading" (What a name) and I'm making sure these bastards do what you readers suggest in an everlasting truth or dare game. We have received our first few dares, so let's get on with it!

Blaziken: Quick question. When do we leave?

Me: Never.

Blaziken: Bollocks.

Me: Anyway, our first dare is for Infernape. You are dared to eat a pineapple then blow up the moon.

Infernape: ...I'm sorry, what?

Me: Don't ask. I don't know what goes on in this guy's mind.

Lopunny: I'm no scientist, but won't blowing up the moon fuck up the gravitational whatever?

Infernape: Spare me your science mumbo jumbo. I have a dare to complete. Right, I need a pineapple and an FHJ - 18AA.

Me: A what?

Infernape: If you've played the video games I've played, you'd know its a rocket launcher. Anyway, go get one.

Me: Where the fuck am I meant to get to get a rocket launcher?

Infernape: Walmart?

Me: ...Huh. Back in a second then.

(Half an hour later)

Me: (Wheezing) Right, I'm back.

Infernape: What took so long?

Me: Have you no idea how hard it is to carry these things?

Gardevoir: How much did that thing cost?

Me: I got it for free.

Infernape: What!?

Me: I have my ways.

Infernape: ...That's sounds like you banged the woman at the till to pay for it.

Me: What? I mean I grabbed it and ran like hell outside before they could catch me.

Infernape: ...Ah. Let's get this over with then.

(Infernape eats the pineapple after stabbing himself six times trying to figure out how to eat it when its covered in spikes, then locks his rocket launcher onto his target)

Infernape: ...Fuck yeah. (Fires rocket)

(The rocket hits the moon, but it doesn't even leave a scratch. The moon suddenly appears to be alive.)

Moon: Hey, what the hell was that for? I'm a Pokemon!

(Everyone stares at it blankly)

Moon: ...Sixth generation.

Everyone: Ah.

Me: Well, he tried at least. Onto dare number two. Garchomp, you are dared to not be a pervert for the rest of this chapter.

Garchomp: HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

Blaziken: Considering we're talking about you here, it isn't.

Garchomp: Normally I would tell you to shut up, but you're just so right...

Me: Well, we'll see how this goes. Onto dare number three. Blaziken, you must break the fourth wall on any way possible.

Blaziken: Oh come on! You could've given me any dare but you sent with that? I'm the star of this show man! I -

Me: Congratulations, you did it. Onto the next dare.

Blaziken: Wait, what?

Me: That's breaking the fourth wall, by showing the readers that you are a fictional character.

Blaziken: ...Fuck, that was easy.

Me: Anyway, onto dare four. Lugia, you must grab a Submachine Gun and kill the tooth fairy.

Lugia: Was this dude high when he thought up these dares?

Me: Probably. Well, get your gun, it's time to kill another damn fairy type.

Lugia: The bitch is going down. (Gets gun)

Me: But where the hell are we meant to find it anyway?

Lopunny: I think there's a dentist near here.

Lugia: Sounds cliché, but there's a chance it's in there, what with all the teeth and all.

(The gang walk to outside the dentist building. Before anyone can say anything, Lugia jumps through the closed window, gunshots are heard, then Lugia leaps through another closed window with blood over his face.)

Lugia: Nope, no tooth fairy in there! (Deep voice) AND NO SURVIVORS.

Me: ...Okay...

Lugia: I know! I'll had to my grandfather's house and get his false teeth. We'll lure the bastard into a trap!

Me: Sounds like a plan.

(Hours later)

Garchomp: C'mon, how much longer do I have to not be a pervert for?

Lugia: Shut it. The falsers are under this pillow. I'll hide in the wardrobe of my bedroom and shoot the bastard when I hear something!

Garchomp: Well, if I'm not being a pervert then there's no point in being awake. Its late, so I'm heading to sleep.

Lopunny: Sounds like a plan. I'm going to sleep too.

(Everyone agrees to call it a night, and Lugia takes his position in the wardrobe)

(Three hours later)

Lugia: I hear something!

(Lugia bursts out of the wardrobe and shoots the shadowy figure that entered his room. It lies on the floor with blood pouring out of it.)

Lugia: ...Uh... Hi mom? GUYS! Get in here!

(Everyone walks in the room, still half asleep.)

Lugia: ...I think I fucked up.

(The rest stare at the dead woman on the floor)

Lugia: Let us never speak of this again.

Gardevoir: Speak of what again?

Lugia: Exactly.

(The next morning)

Me: Well that was unexpected... Let's just say that dare was completed to avoid possibly killing anyone else.

Lugia: Totally agree. What's the last dare?

Me: Its another one for Garchomp. You need to give Gardevoir money for breast implants.

Gardevoir: Excuse me?

Garchomp: OH COME ON! How can I NOT be a pervert now?

Gardevoir: Well I'm not complaining. DDs would be nice.

Garchomp: Stop... Making me... Think... About... Boobs!

Gardevoir: Well, pay up bitch.

Garchomp: Come on! I'm tempted to think about breasts AND I'm losing money. This guy is evil.

Gardevoir: I said pay up.

(Garchomp angrily gives Gardevoir the money, muttering insults under his breath)

Gardevoir: Thank you! I'll be seeing you poor bastards later!

(Gardevoir practically skips out of the house)

Garchomp: To the guy who thought these up, I hate you. I hate you SO. MUCH.

(Arceus knows how many hours later. Let's say eight, I don't know how long these things last)

Gardevoir: (Bursts through door) So, how do they look?

Garchomp: Must... Not... Be tempted... By... Breasts...

Gardevoir: I'll take it that they look great then.

Garchomp: I bloody hope so, or I will have just wasted a crap load of money.

Gardevoir: Well I understand this is hard for you, so when this chapter is over, you get one free look, okay?

Garchomp: Holy crap, my life will be complete.

Me: Well, that's all the dares we've received so far. Send in your suggestions by PM and -

Garchomp: I HAVE TO END THIS CHAPTER NOW BYE!

(Garchomp grabs the camera and shuts it off)


	3. Oppa Garchomp Style

_**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:**_

**I AM NOT DEAD. This has not ended after only one part. Sorry this took so long, it was due to 20% how bad my tablet is, and 80% laziness. Sorry about that, I'll try and make them more often.**

Pokemon Truth or Dare 3

Me: Welcome back! We have received our next few dares so let's get on with it.

Garchomp: Can I go back to being a pervert now?

Me: Yeah, in case you don't remember, YOU ended the last chapter because you cracked under the pressure.

Garchomp: WOOHOO!

Me: Anyway, we may as well begin. The first dare is for Blaziken, who must eat a chicken pie.

Blaziken: Well that seems easy enough. Someone head to the bakers and -

Infernape: Blaziken, you're a chicken too...

Blaziken: ...Holy crap, I've been dared to become a cannibal.

Me: Meh, Pokemon get eaten all the time. Where do you think meat in the Pokemon world comes from?

Blaziken: ...What is this mindfuckery?

Me: Well, I'm heading to the bakers to get the pie. Back in a few.

(Five minutes later)

Me: Got the pie. Eat up.

Blaziken: Okay... (Takes pie) Just pretend it's an apple pie, shut your eyes and eat it...

(Blaziken swallows the pie whole)

Blaziken: Blech, do I really taste that bad?

Me: I don't know, but I don't think anyone wants to find out. Moving on to the next dare. Gardevoir, you must sing "Mr. Saxobeat".

Gardevoir: Sing what?

Me: My guess is it would be a song. Google it.

Gardevoir: Well, I love to sing. This should be fine.

Me: Right. (Types) I've got a lyric video on YouTube here. When your ready, I'll play it.

Gardevoir: (Deep Breath) Right, I'm ready.

(The video is played and Gardevoir starts singing like a dying cat)

Gardevoir: You make me dance, bring me up, bring me down, plays it sweet. Make me move like a freak, Mr. Saxobeat. Makes me dance, brings me up, brings me down, plays it sweet. Makes me move like a freak, Mr. Saxobeat. You make me dance, bring me up, bring me down, plays it sweet. Make me move like a freak, Mr. Saxobeat...

Me: (Puts in earplugs) Right Gardevoir, that's enough.

Gardevoir: Aw, I was just starting to enjoy it!

Me: Well, nobody else was. Next dare. Infernape, you must blow everyone up. Then, using video game logic, all respawn.

Infernape: Well, go get me a grenade and we'll get this over with.

Lopunny: Is this going to hurt?

Infernape: It's a video game, we don't feel pain! (Pulls pin and throws grenade on floor)

(Explosion)

Infernape: (Everyone respawns) ...When I respawned, I think I lost my cock.

Me: That's gross. Moving on, very swiftly. Lopunny, do the bunny dance.

Lopunny: Like a stripper?

Me: Um, no. I don't know what the fuck this dance this, but your a bunny thing, so I'm assuming you do.

Garchomp: Well, you can do it like a stripper if you want.

Lopunny: Go fuck yourself.

Me: I'm guessing this dance is flailing around, jumping. I'm too lazy to look it up.

Lopunny: Well, that's easy.

(Lopunny does as instructed)

Garchomp: (Turns to Infernape) Heh, look at her knockers bouncing.

Lopunny: I heard that you douchebag. Move on before I'm tempted to punch him in the -

Me: Moving on, very swiftly. Garchomp, say "I'm an arse" in German.

Garchomp: I think "I like arse" would be more fitting for me.

Me: Just do the fucking dare.

Garchomp: *Ahem* Ich bin ein Esel.

(Everyone bursts out laughing)

Garchomp: Ficken Arschlöcher. (Translation: Fucking assholes).

Me: (Trying not to laugh) Right... Moving on... Heh... Time for the final dare... Everyone, we must do the GANGNAM STYLE!

(Everyone stares at me blankly)

Me: That is actually the dare. If any of you lot have never heard of this song, you're a dumbass.

Infernape: Uhhh... Yep, I've heard of it. Definitely heard of it!

Me: Well, I'll open it on YouTube. Everyone who does know the dance, teach the idiots how to do it.

(Five minutes later)

Me: Well that was fucking terrible.

Infernape: Sorry I fell over on you Lopunny.

Lopunny: It's not that that pisses me off, it's that you used my boobs to help get back up.

Infernape: Well truly, I regret nothing.

Garchomp: Infernape, you're the luckiest bastard I've seen in a long time.

Infernape: And Lopunny's were the best breasts I've seen in a long time.

(Without warning, Lopunny attacks Infernape and tries to strangle him)

Blaziken: Hey, what the fuck?

Garchomp: Lopunny, what are you thinking?

(Everyone grabs Lopunny and pulls her away from Infernape, who lies on the floor gasping for air)

Infernape: (Deep breaths) That was a compliment you fucktard!

Lopunny: Shitbag.

Me: Moving on and very quickly!

Gardevoir: Wait, I thought you said that was the last one?

Me: It was the last dare, but this guy sent in a truth challenge as well.

Gothitelle: Can we leave already?

Me: Gothitelle, I've just noticed you've barely talked through this entire thing.

Gothitelle: Sorry, I was checking my Facebook.

Me: Well, this is for Garchomp. Do you fantasize about Gardevoir, and do you have plans to rape her?

Gardevoir: WHAT THE FUCK?

Me: Don't get pissed at me, I didn't write these.

Garchomp: FUCK NO!

Gardevoir: Thank GOD! I would have KILLED YOU if you said yes!

Garchomp: Please, the only part of you I fantasize about is your tits!

Gardevoir: Excuse me, you fucking what?

Garchomp: There, I was honest.

Gardevoir: THE ONLY PART OF ME YOU LIKE IS MY RACK?

Garchomp: Well, I'm a pervert and you got implants. Connect the dots. And speaking of which...

(Garchomp grabs one of Gardevoir's breasts)

Garchomp: He he... Honk honk.

Gardevoir: I am going to tear off your fat ugly face.

Garchomp: Hey, you said last chapter I got one free touch!

Gardevoir: THAT WAS A JOKE, RETARD!

Garchomp: Well, I don't regret anything.

Me: Okay, we're ending this now before Gardevoir beats the crap out of Garchomp. It has happened. See you next chapter!


End file.
